Bodily Functions

©2001 Garrett Clevenger



A    E A                Bodily functions are alright (Yes they are) because

A      E                  Bodily functions give me Life. (Yes they do)

D  E   F#m  D       Some I'll let you see, some I'll try to hide.

Bm C#m A    D    Most are a mystery 'cause they happen deep inside. Oh,

Bm C#m A           bodily functions are alright.


A  E   A                  The first function that gave life to me was my

A      D                    ma and pa rolling 'neath the sheets.

Bm C#m F#m  D    Sex may be a blast and quite often way too fast.  But

Bm E   A                 lucky me this time I was conceived.


A  E   A                 9 months past and countless functions formed my

A      D                   body from a fetus 'til I was born.  I

Bm C#m F#m  D   belched out a burp and shat out a turd and

Bm C#m A        cried out loud when they cut the cord.




A  E   A                 Somethings I learned from the start.  Like in

A      D                   public it's impolite to fart but my

Bm C#m F#m  D     body does not care, it will fart anywhere 'cuz if you

Bm C#m A        hold it in the gas will burn your heart.


A  E   A                 It used to be a compliment to burp.  The

A      D                   louder the better, so I've heard.  It was

Bm C#m F#m  D     part of the deal after eating a tasty meal.  Your

Bm C#m A        body needs to ease the gaseous word.


A  E   A                 Next, of course, comes the inevitable: the

A      D                   excrement processed in your bowels.

Bm C#m F#m  D    1 and 2 equals pee and poo.  You

Bm C#m A        can't escape this when your tummy's full.




A  E   A                 Puberty may be the strangest time. 

A      D                   Growing pains and pubes and feeling fine when you

Bm C#m F#m  D    touch yourself because it feels swell. 

Bm C#m A        Don't feel guilty ‘cause this ain't no crime.


A  E   A                 Embarrassment can often make you blush.  You can

A      D                   also feel it when you've got a crush.  When you

Bm C#m F#m  D    don't know where to start with the one who's got your heart.  When you

Bm C#m A        see her smiling nothing beats this rush.


A  E   A                 The body is an awesome thing.  It

A      D                   breaths and beats and sweats and even sees.  It

Bm C#m F#m  D    lets you be alive to enjoy this crazy jive.  So

Bm C#m A        let's give thanks as we sing:





Bm C#m A    D    Some might disagree, but that's alright with me 'cuz

Bm E   A              bodily functions give me life.