23) Insecurities 22) Cami
How could I know you were broke, I had never been there before.
Now I am.
How could I see your misery, I only wanted to be free.
Now I am.
How could I hear the sound of your tears, when I was nowhere near.
Now I am.
How could I feel you got a bad deal, I was just trying to be real.
Now I am.
I'm sorry I let you down. I took away your crown.
My love was always real. I didn't mean to steal.
Your heart, tore it up all apart.
Your mind, put it into a bind.
Your soul, stuffed it into a hole.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive.
Malcolm Mohil
"I'm Sorry"
When Becky found out what Malcolm did the night before with Cami, she was heartbroken. She felt sick and alone. She wanted to sock Cami in the nose.
"How could you do that, Malcolm!? AAAGGGGGHHHHH!" she yelled. "This is getting ridiculous. I don't think I want this kind of relationship anymore. I don't think it’s right."
"So, it's OK for you to have other guy friends, but I can't have girl friends? Why is that fair?"
"I don't feel as strongly about them as you do for Cami. That’s obvious. I’m still in love with you and think about you when I am out with my friends. I don't think you feel the same way about me."
"Becky, I still adore you! I love you more than anybody. I know it sucks thinking I love Cami, too, but I thought you understood what we’re doing. Do you really want to close off your love for other people? Do you really want to stop growing with other people? I think we'd both get bored of our relationship, like what happened before. At least this way, we’re honest with each other. We trust each other. We’re allowing each other to grow, which you know is extremely important. I think by giving ourselves the ability to love other people, we can only strengthen our commitment towards one another. At least that's what I am getting out of this. Every time I meet someone new, sure it's exciting, but it always makes my appreciation for you grow more. Do you really want to have a normal relationship?"
Becky sat back to think. She knew the relationship she shared with Malcolm was unique. She did question the concept of monogamy. She knew many monogamous couples had secretive cheating going on. She knew he still loved her and at least they could communicate about outside relationships. She knew if they closed off their love to other people, their love for one another probably would stagnate. She was afraid to let Malcolm love other girls, but she was afraid to not love other people, including other guys.
She looked at him, sighed and said, "I feel stuck. I hate feeling jealous knowing you love other girls. I love loving other people, including guys. That feels natural. I guess I'm going to have to get over my hurt ego. This is for our neocortex evolution, right?"
Malcolm smiled. "We still have that dream, don't we? Breaking out of the limitations our brains and culture have placed on our souls?" he asked.
Becky climbed into his arms in a hearty embrace. She kissed him on the lips, letting her love for Malcolm envelope them.
"Yes, my love. Our dream of an ideal society still drives me to be a better person. I know what we're doing is right. It's just hard. It’s definitely a challenge, but it's also necessary for us to learn how to conquer those degrading emotions and let our minds grow into their potential. I love you so much, Malcolm," she said, crying in both fear of losing him and in joy of loving him.
"You are my light, Becky. I will always be here for you."
After tender caresses, Malcolm taught her what he learned the night before. They played the mind reading game. Becky was very intuitive and got more correct images than Malcolm. She was excited to know she could read minds and realized she wouldn't have had this opportunity hadn't Malcolm befriended Cami.
"Maybe I can love Cami, too," she told Malcolm after she realized and visualized this.
"You guys probably would love each other."
"Let's invite her over sometime. I think that would be fun."
Malcolm got excited by this prospect and asked, "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Call her right now and invite her over for dinner tonight. Ask her to bring a bottle of merlot."
Malcolm called Cami, talked with her for a little while and then invited her to come over for diner. She was surprised, excited and accepted the invitation.