Bodily Functions

©2001 Garrett Clevenger

Chorus:

A E A Bodily functions are alright (Yes they are) because

A E Bodily functions give me Life. (Yes they do)

D E F#m D Some I'll let you see, some I'll try to hide.

Bm C#m A D Most are a mystery 'cause they happen deep inside. Oh,

Bm C#m A bodily functions are alright.

A E A The first function that gave life to me was my

A D ma and pa rolling 'neath the sheets.

Bm C#m F#m D Sex may be a blast and quite often way too fast. But

Bm E A lucky me this time I was conceived.

A E A 9 months past and countless functions formed my

A D body from a fetus 'til I was born. I

Bm C#m F#m D belched out a burp and shat out a turd and

Bm C#m A cried out loud when they cut the cord.

{chorus}

A E A Somethings I learned from the start. Like in

A D public it's impolite to fart but my

Bm C#m F#m D body does not care, it will fart anywhere 'cuz if you

Bm C#m A hold it in the gas will burn your heart.

A E A It used to be a compliment to burp. The

A D louder the better, so I've heard. It was

Bm C#m F#m D part of the deal after eating a tasty meal. Your

Bm C#m A body needs to ease the gaseous word.

A E A Next, of course, comes the inevitable: the

A D excrement processed in your bowels.

Bm C#m F#m D 1 and 2 equals pee and poo. You

Bm C#m A can't escape this when your tummy's full.

{chorus}

A E A Puberty may be the strangest time.

A D Growing pains and pubes and feeling fine when you

Bm C#m F#m D touch yourself because it feels swell.

Bm C#m A Don't feel guilty ‘cause this ain't no crime.

A E A Embarrassment can often make you blush. You can

A D also feel it when you've got a crush. When you

Bm C#m F#m D don't know where to start with the one who's got your heart. When you

Bm C#m A see her smiling nothing beats this rush.

A E A The body is an awesome thing. It

A D breaths and beats and sweats and even sees. It

Bm C#m F#m D lets you be alive to enjoy this crazy jive. So

Bm C#m A let's give thanks as we sing:

{chorus}

slower:

Bm C#m A D Some might disagree, but that's alright with me 'cuz

Bm E A bodily functions give me life.