21) Moving In 20) The Genes of Enlightenment
Peep show, there's a whole in the wall,
but it doesn't make a difference anyway.
Sparks out, smokes in the air,
and dragonflies are soaking up the day.
A million people turn and they yearn to find another way.
Dry skin flies in the gust blowing our way.
Still we'll burn holes in our socks and
dust mites will have a field day.
Weeds will continue to grow
as long as they can still have a say.
If we weren't wearing shoes, the grass would still feel real.
And we would walk a mile just to try to find a better...
Deal me another hand and
I'll try not to chew my nails.
Build me a bottomless boat and
be sure to bring the whales.
Seven orcas circle, then float in their whirlpool.
Driftwood copies 'cause they want to be cool.
The king's in my royal flush
pressed up against the queen.
Jack's in bed with ten as the
Joker tries to steal the scene.
No one ever noticed on the back they're all the same.
But everybody wants to play another game.
When the rain falls down and the river overflows,
and the bull frog croaks when the east wind blows.
The stench from your socks is the way you start your day
and you know nothing ever really mattered anyway.
Go down to the shoreline, at the end of the dock,
rippling water waves, so take off your socks.
Jump in the bow of the bottomless boat,
Whistle with the whales, that's all we wrote.
Malcolm Mohil
"Whales"
Spring semester ended. Both Malcolm and Becky did well on their finals, though they were distracted by each other. They were glad school was out and summer break had arrived. There’s only so much classroom learning anyone can handle.
Malcolm continued mentoring Jack until the end of Jack's school year, which was a month after college ended. Life might not get easier as age progresses, but less babysitting’s necessary, ideally. College professors accrue the benefit high school teachers on down pay for. When Jack's summer break finally started, Malcolm decided he still wanted to spend time with Jack, so they met once or twice a week for the rest of the summer, stopping only when Jack went to camp and Malcolm and Becky went on a two week road trip to backpack in several National Forests.
Summer sped by, just in time for the Fall semester to start. Before too long, Malcolm and Becky celebrated their one year anniversary together. After that was Winter break and the associated holidays.
Malcolm and Becky were closer than ever. They decided to live together. Becky moved into Malcolm's house before the start of the Spring semester. They were both excited to live with their lover, for each had never done that before.
This new living arrangement worked out wonderfully. They were considerate to one another as good roommates should be. They each had their own private space tocould get away to when needed. They fell more in love as they become more attuned to each other's living style. Limbic regulation tuned them together. They also were able to concentrate more on their studies; they weren't as distracted by having to find time to meet. Since they lived together, they saw each other at home, slowly taking that for granted.
They continued their exploration of the meaning of love and the development of their ideals. Being mentors to the same children was still important and they started to do more volunteer work for other social organizations, such as their local environmental group.
After living together through the Spring semester, they both were starting to feel cramped. Springtime frenzy fed their hearts. They knew this was normal, but still they didn't want to lose their passion for one another. They remembered their early conversations about relationships and realized they needed to respark their relationship if they wanted to keep an interest in each other. They always tried to inspire each other during their time together, but there was something missing they wanted to find again.
At the same time, though, they enjoyed themselves as individuals. They had separate lives away from their relationship, so they weren't dependent on one another for entertainment and learning. They had reached the comfort stage of their relationship where they knew the other would always be there for support if need be. So, during the day they might do something apart, but they could always count on sleeping together and reconnecting as couples should at night.
They frequently talked about love and what it meant. They both started to understand love in a way they felt was healthy. They understood they both had certain dreams and experiences they needed to live through, so they allowed each other the freedom to pursue those desires.
They both knew love within them would guide them to certain situations for a bond to develop which would allow them to share themselves, learn, grow and gain wisdom. Both Malcolm and Becky met other people and had experiences that improved not only their individuality, but also their relationship together.
Malcolm and Becky had reached an interesting point in their relationship. They enjoyed living together, loving each other and feeling the security and freedom their relationship gave them. Yet, they also felt the passion they once had for each other move from each other back to themselves and thus to their individual experiences. They were confused as to what to do. Should they continue to enjoy their relationship living together or should they move apart and rekindle the passion they once had? This was a topic of conversation for several weeks.
Malcolm began to notice Becky was becoming more distant. He asked her about it one day, but she acted as if he were imagining things. He continued to ask her about it until finally she explained what was in her mind.
Towards the end of the spring semester, when the passion between Malcolm and Becky was beginning to wane, Becky was volunteering for the Humane Society. A week after she started volunteering, a guy named Bruce started as well. They soon became friends.
As they got to know each other more, she began to feel an attraction for him she tried to ignore. She understood what it was by putting it into the context of her philosophy of love: an attraction occurs because two people have something they want to share with each other so they develop a bond, share, learn, grow and gain wisdom from the relationship. This understanding was a fundamental part of her and Malcolm's relationship; she didn't feel guilty about that. Her problem was she was incredibly sexually attracted to Bruce, which was very distracting to her. He fit her love map in ways Malcolm never did.
"I know what it's like to have a crush on somebody, Becky. I've had them, too. It's not that big of a deal," Malcolm said after hearing this.
"Who have you had a crush on?" Becky jealously asked.
"Just random girls I've met. It's not serious. I don't think it's important to name them."
"Have you done anything about it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, have you flirted with them or kissed them or..."
"No! I've never cheated on you, Becky. I like having crushes, but I'm not going to jeopardize our relationship for someone else I don't really know. My appetite might grow while loving life, but you are the meal I want to consume."
Becky turned her eyes away. She couldn't look Malcolm in the eyes. Not just to hide the tears forming in them, but to also hide the guilt she was feeling.
"Becky, what's up? I feel like you're not telling me something."
She began to openly cry.
"Did you get together with Bruce?" Malcolm asked, feeling slight rage, but remaining calm.
"What did you do, Becky?"
She stopped crying. She looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, Malcolm. It was a mistake. We just kissed. That's all. I promise that won't happen again."
Malcolm was crushed. He wasn't expecting this at all. He felt betrayed, yet he was able to detach himself from the feeling.
Becky tried to hug him, but he didn't want her embrace. He detached himself from feeling anything for her.
"I want to be alone for a while, to think about this," he told her and walked into his room, closing the door behind him.
He laid on his bed to analyze what he was feeling. He knew deep down what Becky did wasn't a big deal. Ideally, he could accept the fact she has love she wished to share. He had felt the desire to kiss other girls, so why is he any better just because she acted on it. Wasn't thinking it the same?
He was hurt, though. His personality felt rejected, angry, bitter and resentful. He imagined kissing other girls, not just for the pleasure, but also to make Becky feel what it was like. He had these fantasies until he realized what he was doing. He was letting his ego control his emotions rather than letting his ideals allow him to forgive. He was feeling nauseous as a result. He knew what he had to do.
He got up from his bed and walked out into the living room. Becky was sitting at the table, writing. He sat down next to her. They both felt extremely tense.
"I forgive you, Becky," Malcolm said with tears in his eyes.
Becky's eyes were red from crying.
"I'm writing you a love letter, my love," she told him.
The tension they felt melted into love, which turned into passion. Malcolm walked behind Becky and began to play with her hair. She turned around to face him and pulled him onto her lap. They began to touch each other and kiss each other. Before long they were on the ground, showing each other how much they cared, enjoying the comfort feeling another’s body brings.