15) One With the World 14) A New Perception
I walk upon the w orld refreshed, washed clean by the rain.
I give my Alms of Pearls we threshed from the harvest of the grain.
Which grew strong nourished by the heat, the essence of the sun
unto the eyes of those who seek to know the Shining One.
Malcolm Mohil
After enjoying this reverie for a while, Malcolm spoke some more.
"All expressions of love, whether physical, mental or spiritual, are a resonance of God’s love for us. When love's suppressed, you aren't connecting, thus you can’t express the meaning of who you are. Often, this results in tension and frustration.
"When you’re expressing your love, you’re allowing the energy to release itself, and the information contained in that energy can be shared. You’re connecting thus feel alive because you’re now defining yourself through another person or activity, expressing the love you have.
"Relationships are one way we define ourselves. Through the mirror of another person we can learn who we are and support one another in mutual growth. Feeling love for another is empowering because it connects us with another person, thus allowing for an exchange of ideas through packets of energized information. This helps define who we are, leading to a discovery of self. This is our heritage because it helps in answering, 'Who am I?' Without love, we feel lost, weak, confused and empty because we no longer have a template with which to define who we are. Resonating with another, feeling connected, thus being in love, is a reflection of God resonating with us.
"Expression of love for another reflects love of self because the one you’re loving is yourself in the Grand Connection of God. To love another truly, with the intention of providing support, is a reflection of love for all. To love in a relationship that's mutually empowering is a resonant response of God's love for life.
"When you’re loving another, you’re tying energy in the body to conform to the ideals of that love. It hurts when you can't express that love because you're clinging to the energy. Energy needs to move. Power of love needs to work.
"During my relationship with Sarah, I wasn’t able to express my love to her fully. I wanted to make love with her all the time, but she was intimidated by sex. She didn't reciprocate the love I wanted to express, so I became crabby and withdrawn. I was burning with this repressed energy. It needed to be released. That affected my behavior towards her, which turned her off and made her less wanting to make love to me. It became a vicious cycle because our relationship wasn't expressing love as it should have been, as I needed to be content. I started drinking more, finding pleasure in a bottle, which disgusted Sarah. I also began noticing other girls more, which made me feel guilty. Eventually it ended, leaving me with a lot to think about," Malcolm said, sighing.
"That's interesting, because I recently read an article about an experiment researchers conducted on fruit flies. They found male fruit flies who were denied the chance to mate began preferring fermented fruit, which contained alcohol, more than males who were given free reign to mate as much as they wanted, who preferred fresh fruit," Becky said.
"Wow, that's interesting. The sexually repressed flies maybe were trying to deaden the pain they felt in not being able to express their love, or maybe they were looking for an alternative to the sex high. I guess I shouldn't be surprised humans aren't the only animals who have love issues. I wonder if they became alcoholics, who then preferred a drink more than making an effort to find a mate," Malcolm speculated.
"It wouldn’t surprise me if this dynamic is a reason so many relationships stagnate," Becky said. "You’re not the only one who felt repressed sexual energy being with your partner. That was one of the issues I had with Scott, only he was the one who wasn’t satisfying me. He thought it was a sin to have premarital sex. We’d make out and he’d turn me on, but somehow he stopped himself from doing more. He explained he wanted to, but wanted to wait until marriage. He was still a virgin, so maybe he just didn’t understand just how natural sex can feel. Personally, it seems if God created such a wonderful thing like sex, why not enjoy it with the one you love?
"I kind of interpreted his lack of not wanting to have sex with me as him really not being all that in to me, though. I guess it came down to me not being able to express the love I felt for him in a way I really wanted to. I think it led to many of our arguments."
"I think if you want to make love to someone, and for whatever reason that feeling isn’t coming back from your partner, it could really lead to some resentments. I could see how, over time, a couple’s lack of healthy love making could lead to relationship issues. From either passive aggressive responses, such as not communicating or being helpful, to cheating on the other," Malcolm affirmed.
"It makes sense when couples have an active love life, their commitment to each other will be stronger, if, for no other reason, because of the increased hormones present. Those hormones act like a drug and keep the partners sort of addicted to each other. Why wouldn’t they want to continue to be with each other if they’re giving each other one of the best natural highs? Sex feels good for many reasons, but hormones are one of the strongest driving forces. It’s no wonder people become sex addicts," Becky added.
"Maybe this helps explain drug abuse. People have love, but they don't know how to express it, which makes them unhappy. Deep down, they know life should be a natural high, but since they can't find it through expressing love in a healthy way, they find a way to reach that high through drugs," Malcolm wondered.
"It's unfortunate, because it's easy to become addicted to that which makes you feel good. Add to that the physical addiction the body gets from certain substances, and it's a hard thing to break. No one likes going through withdrawals, so they keep on the destructive path, even though the person logically knows it’s not right. Even the most reasonable and educated person can experience that," Becky said.
"Yeah, I can attest to that," Malcolm admitted. "On the other hand, one theory is civilization was started because people started cultivating grains, which were primarily used to make fermented drinks. It's interesting to think we may just be descendants of alcoholics."
"We'll, even Jesus liked wine," Becky added. "He turned water, the very essence of life, into wine. Obviously, if a divine being like Jesus liked to consume alcohol, there's something to be said. It's not all bad. It could be imbibing breaks down barriers, making it easier to love. With lowered inhibitions, perhaps fear is reduced, opening people up to the ability to express love more. Who's to judge why someone does something? It's really up to the individual to determine how they want to live and whether what they’re doing is harming others in the process."
"It all comes down to how someone uses the love we're born to express," Malcolm added.
He gave Becky a kiss and continued, "There's nothing a couple who understood the power of love couldn't do. Instead of declining, they would be inspiring each other to manifest their dreams. They would also be an inspiration to other couples and individuals, who would then be an inspiration to their community, which would then inspire a shift into a healthier society, which would then exist more harmoniously on Earth. Thus, the love of one has changed the world."
"Do you think we fit your description of an ideal couple?" Becky asked.
"I think we have the potential. I feel like I'm not an ideal person. I have things I need to work on. We both have dreams that could encourage this. Maybe we could help each other achieve our potential."
"I would like that. There are a lot of things I've thought about doing, like volunteering for the Humane Society or Hospice, things that would ease the burden on others. But I've never done it, probably because I've been lazy. If we did things together, I think we'd motivate each other."
"Well, where do you want to start?" Malcolm asked.