8) Heartbreak                               7) Drink of the Gods

 

            Phil was a flea with a bud,
            a dog who he lived on, who gave Phil his blood.
            Through fields and forests Rex would take Phil,
            'til one day he saw her and gave Phil a thrill.


            'Oh, Rex! She is sure sweet!
            'If I could get closer, I'd kiss her complete.'
            Rex wagged his tail and continued to drool.
            'I'll help you out, Phil, 'cause I've been there, too.' 


                                                                       Becky Bonham
                                                                      "Phil's Fancy"

    "Excuse me. I should answer that," Malcolm said, smiling.

           "Hello?" Malcolm said.

           "Mal! What are you doing home? You were supposed to meet me for racquetball 45 minutes ago!" Jason irritably said.

           "Oh man! I'm sorry. I totally spaced on the time. Becky came over and we started talking and the next thing..."

           "You stood me up for a girl you just met?!" Jason interrupted. "Dude, what do you got, the hots for her or something?"

           Malcolm blushed. "Of course, but I didn't flake on you on purpose. I'll be right over."

           "No, that's OK. We wouldn't be able to play very long now, anyways," Jason said, then laughed. "I think she likes you, too, Mal. She couldn't stop talking about you to Steph today. 'He's so smart and nice and cute', she said. Maybe she's the one, huh Mal? Maybe you'll be as lucky as me! I'm telling you, deciding to spend my life with Steph has opened me up so much. I never knew how much I could love until I decided to do it. It was like tearing down the walls to Heaven and finally being let in. I thought I knew what love was before, but now I see I'm just starting to love. It's addicting, Mal!"

           "I'm jealous, J, but also extremely happy for you. Maybe I'll see where you are someday. Maybe even join you," Malcolm said.

           "Well, hopefully you don’t mean in bed," Jason teased. "I'll let you get back to your 'girlfriend’. Tell Becky I said 'Hi', please. Let me know how it goes, will ya?"

            "Of course, bro. I'll talk with you soon. Good night."

           Malcolm hung up the phone and remembered what Jason said about Becky. He got very excited and even more nervous. Now he knew she would accept him, but making the first move was always difficult.

           "Jason said 'Hi' to you, Becky," Malcolm said as he walked back to sit with her on the couch.

           "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you forget your game with him," Becky said.

           "No, it's not your fault. I'm the one who spaced it. When I talk about stuff we were discussing, I get so involved I lose track of time. Jason understands," Malcolm said, smiling even more knowing what he knew.

           "You seem very happy, Malcolm. What's up?" Becky asked.

           "I guess I'm happy for J. He’s so in love with Steph, it's beautiful. I'm also happy you came over to talk."

           "Me too. But to be honest, I didn't come over just to talk," Becky said nervously.

           "Oh?" Malcolm said as his heart raced. "What else do you have in mind?" Malcolm asked.

           "Do you play the guitar?" Becky asked back, looking at the guitar laying by the couch.

           "Yeah. I've been playing for a couple years, though I'm not very good," Malcolm answered.

           "Why are you so modest? I bet you're better than me."

           "Do you play, too?"

           "A little, but I'm not very good," Becky teased, blushing.

           "Can I hear you play?"

           "Only if I can hear you first."

           Malcolm picked up the guitar and began to strum a song he wrote. It was a simple song, but his voice captured Becky. It was so confident and soothing. She was very impressed.

           "That was beautiful, Malcolm. Did you write it?"

           "Yeah. I was dumped a couple of years ago and had a lot of emotions at the time. It's amazing how creative I got. I wrote a bunch of songs, but that’s one of my favorites, probably because it's an honest expression of what I was feeling. It feels very good to sing it. Definitely therapeutic, though it brings back a lot of memories I'd rather not remember, so I don't know if it's healthy to sing it. I guess another case of associative memory and living in the past," Malcolm said.

           "I could tell you’re very passionate about singing it. I could feel the emotions, too. Probably because I could relate to what you were singing. I've been dumped before, more than once, so I know how much it hurts."

           "Did you write songs during your heartbreak, too?"

           "Yeah, but I'd rather not sing them. You're right about songs like that being associative memories. It's not worth it to make myself feel miserable right now. I want to be happy, so I am!" Becky said enthusiastically.

           "I'll sing you a song, though you have to laugh. OK?"

           Malcolm laughed, "Of course!"

           She sang a song about a little flea. The flea's name was Phil. Phil lived on a dog until one day he saw a beautiful lady flea jump onto a cat. He decided to follow. When he met this flea named Flo, he discovered she was a bloodsucker. She was mean and arrogant, not what he was expecting. So, he jumped off the cat to save himself and landed on a mouse. The mouse was a good home until one day the cat caught the mouse and ate it, swallowing Phil. Phil died. Phil was digested and circulated through the cat's blood. Flo was sucking blood when she sucked up some of Phil's cells. Instantly, she saw herself in a different light. She saw herself as a mean and arrogant bloodsucker. She felt guilty and sad for rejecting Phil. She decided to change. She knew she’d have to leave the cat because it reminded her of her past behaviors, so she jumped off the cat and landed on Becky's head. That was the end of the song, after which Becky scratched her head and like a dog whose back's being scratched, kicked her leg spastically.

           "Flo still sucks blood, but she's getting nicer," Becky said.

           Malcolm was sincerely laughing. "That's an hilarious song! Thanks for sharing it, Becky."

           "You're welcome. Thanks for laughing."

           They both were feeling very relaxed.

           "There's nothing like laugher to make you feel better," Becky said. "The brain likes it so much it produces endorphins and other healing hormones. It's no wonder they say 'laughter's the best medicine.'"

           "Were you not feeling good before?" Malcolm asked.

           "Well, to tell you the truth, I was a bit nervous. I still am, a little." Becky sighed. She took a sip of her wine and then looked at Malcolm. "I have a problem I want to share with you, Malcolm. I know it's going to sound weird, but I've to get this off my chest.

           "I have a boyfriend. Well, sort of boyfriend."

           Malcolm's heart dropped. This was the last thing he wanted to hear.

           She continued. "You see, Scott and I have been dating for about a year. But the last 4 months have been very tense. We both have discovered we’re not right for each other, though he's less willing to admit it. The problem is we don't see life the same way. He’s very set on his views, many of which I don't agree with. He's Christian, though he's not devout and hasn't pushed it on me, though sometimes our spiritual disagreements can get pretty intense. Both of us aren't very happy, but we're afraid to let each other go. It sucks because we stop seeing each other for a week or so until one of us misses the other and decides to call and all these feeling come rushing back. We start hanging out a bit more until we argue and split up for the next week. It's an awful cycle. I need to get out of it, but I'm scared to."

           "I can sympathize with you. I was in a similar situation with my last girlfriend. One day she met some guy and hell broke loose in me. It was over and I had to let her go. It was hard but I eventually was able to forgive her. Though I still don't really want to see her. She got married to this guy," Malcolm said sadly.

           "That was what your song was about, wasn't it?"

           Malcolm sighed and then nodded.

           "I'm sorry. Now I really feel nervous about telling you this. Do you believe in Karma?"

           "Sometimes. It depends on what you mean by Karma."

           "I've had things happen to me that seem to be more than coincidences. Like they were supposed to happen to teach me something. I believe what goes around comes around. For instance, if I do something I regret, I might experience something else that will give me an understanding of why I felt bad when I did that first something. Like if I hurt somebody, I'll be hurt back. Likewise, if I help somebody, I'll be helped back. I'm not sure why this works, but it’s happened enough times to me I believe Karma is a reality," Becky said.

           "I can accept that. The Bible calls Karma 'an eye for an eye.' Other religions probably have a similar law. Why do you ask me?" Malcolm asked.

           Becky took a sip of wine and took a deep breath. "Malcolm, I know we just met and I don't really know you, but you've been a catalyst to me. After talking with you last night, and even more tonight, I've realized I have more in common with you than I do with Scott. I could never have the same discussions with him. I don't expect anything from you, but just knowing there are people like you who I can have intelligent conversations with has made me realize I can't be with Scott anymore. I've decided to end my relationship with him."

           "Wow. I just got a flash of Sarah and her husband when they first met, when me and Sarah were struggling with our relationship. I imagined what you just said to me was first said by Sarah to the other dude. Karma? It's pretty freaky. I feel sorta nauseous, and guilty. I swore I would never get between a couple. I don't want another person to have to experience what I went through."

           "Do you wish you and Sarah were still together?" Becky asked.

           Malcolm had to think about that. "I still love her and miss her. I think about her every so often and wonder if we could've worked it out. Realistically though, I admit we weren’t right for each other. In a sense, what happened was for the best. I guess it was meant to happen. So no, I don't wish we were back together. I know there's somebody who will make me happier."

           "Then maybe this is meant to happen, too. I don't want to hurt Scott, but if we keep dragging our relationship out, we're just going to hurt each other longer. I figure it's better to end it now rather than later."

           "This makes me look at the past in a totally different way." Malcolm said. "I feel like I was the one who got between me and Sarah. In some strange way, Scott is me getting between you and Scott. "

           They both sighed. Malcolm poured himself another glass of wine and offered the remainder to Becky. 

 

9) An Ideal Society